Mario isn’t a plumber anymore
Illuminati Spaghetti
After making myself a succulent meal for lunch, I embarked on a journey to stock up on non-perishible wholesome snax for the road. Tomorrow I am leaving with The Coma Recovery to Flagstaff, AZ for a two-week tour.
During my food-buying endeavor I saw a couple of guys walking out of Whole Foods. They both looked kind of sketchy, and a person wouldn’t normally see their type in an organic foods market. Both crossed in front of my car the cross walk, and the Super Mario-looking one, who was wearing a “Christian Dad” t-shirt stared me down through my windshield. I parked and went into the store buy my stuff thinking nothing of it.
Of course when I came out they were lurking around in their truck following me to my car. The driver pulled up next to me and yelled “hey, we can fix yer car…” He pointed at my bumper that I messed up a few months ago, “We can fix dat…”
Before I knew it, Super Mario (before he gets the power mushroom) got out of the passenger’s side and was trying to sell me dent-fixing services while walking circles around my car, and pointing out all the little dings. The driver boxed me in so I couldn’t back out. I kept saying no, but he kept pushing it.
Me: “Ok, well, do you have a business card?”
Mario: “No. But we can fix it right now. 150 bucks. 150 bucks. Right now. 150 bucks. Can’t beat 150 bucks.”
Me: “No.”
By then I felt like I was going to get robbed so I got in my car. I waited for them to leave so I could drive out of there. Then I got into traffic while watching the rearview mirror for a good 10 minutes.
