Losing hope in humanity.

I spent the entire day recovering from my stay in Roswell for the last week, then went to work tonight for some local hip-hop R&B show.

It’s been a long time since I’ve absolutely dreaded being at work. Tonight was one of those nights. I’ve reflected on the times where I’ve felt similar, and it usually relates to a sense of losing hope in the future of the human race.

There was no reason for me to work tonight; there were almost more performers than there were audience members. Despite the small turn-out, a guy from security told me how everyone was treating themselves like VIPs, exchanging passes to get access back stage, free drinks, etc. It was like neanderthals parading self-glorification, making sure to have poop readily available in hand if chucking became necessary. The music was like plugging headphones into excrement. The lyrics were 99% about pride in being 100% worthless. The bloated confidence behind it is what made the experience unbelievable.

I watched two girls get in a fight, one standing at a lower level behind a handrail, the other facing in the opposite direction at a table. The one standing below grabbed a handful of the other girl’s hair and tried to pull her over a railing by her head. Her neck was surprisingly bendable, as the other girl was yanking, as if tugging a rope in tug-o-war.

Cops were everywhere and security was doubled because of the potential for gang violence. If the venue made any money at all, it would only be because of the excessive purchases of Corona and Bud Light.

My thoughts fed on the atmosphere of negativity. I slammed down a mallet of judgment like never before. Most of the time I can laugh it off, but tonight, a part of me was considering that maybe it’d be good for a portion of humanity to become extinct.